megwhat:

Three years ago today, a coward took the life of a noble man.  

Dr. George Tiller was one of  three providers in the US that performed late-term abortions - on fetuses that had severe to fatal birth defects, and for women that would die or have their health severely impaired if they carried to term or gave birth.  

The man who killed him was a domestic terrorist that refuses to recognize women’s autonomy over their bodies and their life choices.  This man, a self proclaimed “pro-lifer”, did not see the irony in shooting an adult man at church to further his goals.  He compared a legitimate physician providing health services to Josef Mengele.  

It is always important to remember the legacy of Doctor Tiller, but it is so important to be vigilant now.  Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the liberal world you live in - particularly New York, which has the most liberal abortion policy in the nation, a place that uses state Medicaid funds to help women pay for the procedure - but New York is a blip on the radar here.  Women and providers in our country - and increasingly, in other westernized nations - are targeted by organizations like Operation Rescue and are at risk for the same shit that Doctor Tiller and Doctor David Gunn and countless others experience on a daily basis.  Harassment and stalking, arson, acid attacks, bombing - these are acts of domestic terrorism, and should not be tolerated one moment longer. 

So check out I Am Dr Tiller.  Donate to NARAL In Memorium.  Write to your legislator.  Continue to fight for free access to clinics, access to contraceptives and abortion, and the prosecution of domestic terrorists that favor the “life” of a group of cells over the lives of people that save the lives of women on a daily basis.

This is a women’s issue. This is a mens issue This is a health issue. This is a legal issue. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of belief, I am part of the fight for the rights to have autonomy and to be in charge of my own body.

theangrytherapist:

DAILY INTENTION (break ups)

Today I will accept my break up as an expiration.  Like milk, it had an expiration date.  It was meant to end when it did.  I will not replay, revisit, or regret.  Instead I will focus on what I’ve learned about myself through the experience and what I want to change.  If I not, I know that I will have wasted the ultimate gift of the relationship.

- Angry

skinny-thoughts:

Build up lower back and glute strength! 

I just like to lay on the ground and do this sometimes… I think it’s really becoming of me.

Weight: 172.4

I’ll take it. Considering I was toying around with being over 180 a few months ago, I would say a 7.6lb loss is a WIN!

While I do have number goals for the scale, I think it’s really important to have goals that prove my body is changing. The number on a scale can only do so much for me when I have pants that don’t fit, rings I can’t get on my fingers, even panties that are too small to wear.

SO, my first official non-number goal, lose the inches/pounds/stones/fat/whatever that I need to, to be able to comfortably button and wear my work pants (as I currently wear them unbuttoned with a long cami so no one can tell that I can’t do them up all the way…).

Duh.

I was looking through pictures on Facebook today and I found a picture of myself that I really didn’t even recognize.

This is a picture of me at one of my lowest weights (I’m on the right, with the sunglasses… this was during one of my blonde phases), circa May 2008.

In this picture, I probably weighed about 130. My closest friend at the time, Brandi, was getting married and I was a bridesmaid. And there we are, preparing and doing set up for the wedding. And there I am, in pants that fit and I don’t have rolls hanging over the waistline, and my breasts aren’t resting on the fat of my belly, nor are they trying to force their way out of my v-neck top. I look GOOD in this picture. I look thin, I look tan, I look pretty. But mostly, I look happy in this picture. I remember taking this picture and I remember the feelings surrounding it. I remember being excited. I remember being happy. I remember being secure. I remember not comparing myself to everyone around me. I remember that outfit fitting, and feeling good in it. I remember slipping into my bridesmaids dress and it fitting like a glove on a sleek, thin hand. I remember feeling good.

When I look at that picture now, I feel sad. I miss that body, I miss that person. I miss Brandi (time and distance have separated us, and she is no longer interested in a friendship), I miss being skinny and feeling good about myself. I miss not having to fake my security and confidence. I miss feeling as successful with my appearance as I felt with my accomplishments.

Fast forward to the picture below,

This is a photo of me at one of my highest weights, probably around 175 (where my scale sits now, on a good day) circa February 2011. I don’t have a more current body shot to show you, because apparently, after this picture was taken, I stopped being in pictures. I started to be behind pictures.

In this picture, my size 17 jeans are on the tight side, my breasts are very obviously resting on my belly fat, and you can’t see it, but they are trying to escape out of my v-neck top. My back fat is clearly visible…All of the things I loved from the first picture are the things I hate about this picture.

I realize that weight loss isn’t all about aesthetics. I especially realize this because I am a sick person, and have been a sick person for a long time. Losing weight would do things for my health that would exponentially increase my quality of life. But, when it comes down to it, right now, at this point in my young adult life (at the ripe old age of 22), I really want to feel like I look good again. I really want my clothes to fit again. I really don’t want to wear sizes 16, 18, XL and XXL. I really don’t.

Today is the first day… again.

The first time I really tried to lose weight, I was counting calories but wasn’t working out. The last time I tried I was working out but wasn’t counting calories. This time I am going to start counting calories again, and continue to run with my group. Thus, doing both this time around, and I think it might be the recipe for success.

Today is the first day again, and I can do it.

Stay tuned for a weigh in one morning soon, as it is long overdue.

I swear I spend about half of my time waiting “just a few minutes” to see different doctors!